InsaneJournal

[Fic] The End of Gather! Or is it? Chapter 11, Puppetmaster
Title: Gather
Chapter Eleven: Puppetmaster
Disclaimer: Blame Konomi. Especially for the Tachibana jokes
Rating: PG-13 for a rude puppet
Pairings: IbuSae (come on... it's pretty)
Summary: Saeki's feeling uncharacteristically glum. Who'd think Shinji would cheer him up?
A/N: And now, the most recent chapter of Gather... that no one read. Seriously, no one. It made me sad, but I guess IbuSae is kind of a nitch market. *waves banner* I shall soldier on. But yeah, this grew out of a need to pair up the pretty ones and a desire to give an outlet to Shinji's monologue.


Saeki was bored. It was late, and he knew he should be resting for tomorrow’s practice, but sleep just wasn’t happening-- not with Fuji inviting Tezuka over anyway. So he wandered the grounds, debating getting in a little practice with a wall if nothing else. That, however, seemed a little pointless given his current surroundings. Senbatsu was just not shaping up to be his moment, which he‘d figured would happen. Most of the time, Saeki could deal with his competition. He was good, but his attitude towards the game was completely different from a Tezuka or a Sanada or even an Atobe. Still it was disappointing to see Rokkaku fall short again while getting a sobering look at the competition for Nationals.

It wasn’t like him to feel this out of it. He blamed exhaustion and continued his walk until he heard a strange mumbling coming from the other side of the dormitory. Further investigation revealed a dark-haired boy, quietly admonishing something just out of Saeki’s vision. Moonlight pooled around him, making his hair cast artistic shadows across his features: a poetic scene until Saeki got close enough to make out what the boy was saying.

“Usa-san, you are not being very polite. Tachibana-san is our buchou and --” Shinji looked up, and blinked at Saeki. “Yes?”

“I was just…” Saeki looked around. “Who are you talking to?”

“I wasn’t talking to anyone; I was rehearsing. I hope people would be able to tell the difference, but I guess my skill level is not yet high enough.” Shinji held up his hand, around which was a puppet crudely fashioned out of a sock and some grip tape.

Saeki debated the merits of investigating further versus backing slowly away. However, in his current mix of boredom and exhaustion, curiosity won out. “You’re practicing ventriloquism?”

Shinji nodded. “Atobe-san said such acts were far too common to present at Tezuka-san’s welcome home party; however, I don’t believe we were given a fair chance since he’d already decided on singing that ridiculous song and hogging the microphone the entire time. The next time tennis camp decides to host a vaudeville night, Usa-san and I will be better prepared.”

“Usa-san?”

Another nod.

“It’s a bunny?”

Half-heartedly, Shinji attempted to adjust the grip tape ears into a standing position. “It’s a lop-ear. Besides, I had a very minimal amount of supplies to work with under these circumstances, and I believe I did a fairly convincing job of…”

“And you named it ‘Usa-san?’” Saeki tried not to snicker. He really tried.

Shinji’s eyebrows narrowed. “If you think that is a silly name, perhaps I should change it. I think his new name will be Kojiroh.”

Saeki stopped laughing. “Hey, I didn’t--”

“What do you think, Kojiroh?”

The sock puppet bobbed up and down, before Shinji’s voice answered, “I think it fits a handsome gentleman such as myself perfectly.”

“Very well, Kojiroh. Would you like to tell some jokes to our audience?”

The puppet nodded, and Shinji looked expectantly at Saeki, who gave in and lay his jacket on the wet grass.

Shinji waited until Saeki was settled, then cleared his throat. “I will now tell you a very funny joke that should make you laugh extremely hard, and if it doesn’t, you clearly do not have a very good sense of humor and should not be listening to comedy routines anyway. A tennis players walks into a bar--”

“Ouch!” said the puppet, still in Shinji’s normal monotone. Saeki had to admit, he couldn’t see Ibu’s lips move, but that included the times Ibu was supposed to be talking.

Now Shinji glared at the puppet. “No, Kojiroh. I told you it is very rude to interrupt another person’s jokes.”

“Well your jokes aren’t funny. I have a better joke.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it is a knock knock joke. Do you like knock knock jokes?”

“Everyone likes knock knock jokes, Kojiroh.”

“You start.”

“Okay, knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” The puppet appeared to stare at Shinji in anticipation. After about ten seconds, Ibu continued, “That, also, was not a very funny joke, Kojiroh. Our audience is not laughing. If you cannot tell a funny joke, then I am going to make you sleep in the team laundry hamper.”

The puppet’s lower lip trembled. “I know a much better joke!”

Shinji gestured with his non-sock hand. “Please.”

“What is the difference between a sock puppet and Tachibana-san?”

Shinji thought. “I can see many differences between a sock puppet and Tachibana-san. For one, he is a person, and sock puppets are puppets. Also, he can play tennis, and sock puppets cannot. Also…”

“You are interrupting my joke.”

“Sunmason.”

“Ahem, as I was saying, the difference between a sock puppet and Tachibana-san is that a sock puppet has had fewer things shoved up its--”

Shinji clamped his other hand over the sock puppet’s mouth. “Kojiroh, were you going to say something rude about Tachibana-san?”

The puppet shook its head.

“Because Tachibana-san is a very important person. He saved our tennis club and has taught us many important skills and gotten our team to Nationals, so we must not be rude to him.”

Another shake.

“And if you are being rude to Tachibana-san, you will still find yourself sleeping in the laundry hamper after practice and I will make you listen to Kamio’s mp3 player all night . Do you understand?”

Grip tape ears flopped in a nod..

“Very well. A sock puppet has had fewer things shoved up its…” He released the puppet.

“Nose.”

“Nose?”

“Yes, because puppets do not have nostrils, and I heard when Tachibana-san was a toddler, he used to shove crayons up his nose.”

Saeki laughed, though he stopped when Shinji glared at him. “That was not very funny either. I don’t know why you are laughing. Kojiroh, you need to come up with better material before we perform again.”

“Sunmason.”

The laughter burst out again., and Shinji looked quizzical. “You really enjoyed it?”

“Maybe I’m just exhausted, but yeah. I thought it was great.” Saeki stretched out on his jacket. “Best time I’ve had for most of this camp anyway.”

Shinji was quiet for a moment, and Saeki looked at the stars, occasionally glancing to watch the moonlight glint off Shinji’s blue-black hair.

“If you enjoyed it…” Shinji began tentatively, “… you could join us again tomorrow night. Kojiroh clearly needs much more practice before he is ready for a professional audience, and your feedback would be appreciated. Of course, you are probably going to need to sleep tomorrow night since you are up so late tonight, and I probably should too. However--”

“Sure,” Saeki shrugged, standing up. “Though I should go see if my room’s safe by now. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Shinji waved, a slight smile on his normally morose face. It made Saeki smile a little too, and the fukubuchou headed around the corner of the dorms. He stopped when he heard the mumbling begin again.

“Do you think he understood that in asking him to return, I was in fact asking him on a date?”

“You are as clearly a master in the ways of flirtation.”

Silence for a moment. “I believe you are using sarcasm, Kojiroh.”

Saeki snickered, walking back up the past. Maybe he could enjoy himself at this camp yet.